OK. So Fifty Shades of Grey sold fifteen gazillion copies. I get it. Sex sells, and we have known this ever since the first sexually reproducing hermaphroditic flatworms evolved out of an amoeba's binary fission gone wrong. But please understand something, dear reader (by which I actually mean, dear writer.) The fact that sex sells does NOT mean that writing porn is going to make you E.L. James. It won't, indeed.
To put a little bit of perspective on this "new" trend of writing porn disguised as literature, let's take a moment to review the evolution of porn.
In the beginning, there was Ron Jeremy.
|Ron Jeremy at 2007... by CrazyJ attributed to CC by 3.0|
For those of you who are too young to remember him, Ron Jeremy was the Christian Grey of his time. In fact, he was the Christian Grey of everyone's time, even more so than Christian Grey.
Jeremy starred in more than two thousand smut movies over the course of several decades. He was ranked number one by Adult Video News (AVN) on their Top Fifty Porn Stars of All Time, and for those of us who don't watch these goofy flicks, he's probably the only name in the biz that we can even come up with. I see the resemblance to Christian Grey, don't you?
But then, Jeremy's life and career took a turn for the worse. In the natural course of human evolution, the species came to understand that, actually, pornography is stupid, and anyone over 13 years of age doesn't need to watch porn and pretend to be all dark and devious in order to have sex.
At the same time in history, another trend was occurring. Our species began to figure out that the music inevitably associated with pornography sucks.
|Disco Dancers by eeyrsja open clipart public domain|
The 8-track soundtracks and the VHS videos began increasingly to grace the bargain sections of adult bookstores, and the popularity of the industry faded. The ruin of his career forced Ron Jeremy into a life of terrorism. He later confessed to plotting the September 11 attacks.
|Khalid Shaikh Mohammed Taken by US Forces Public domain|
For additional examples of the Most Over-Used Protagonists in Today's Novel, click here and here.